What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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You know what's funny? Rape

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops