Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

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I don't want to hear another joke about female hygiene, PERIOD! -Lets go Mets

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

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Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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