What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops