Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

whats big and white and falls from the sky\ Refrigerator

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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