A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Factors that can increase your risk of prostate cancer include: Older age Being black Family history of prostate cancer Obesity My friend's grandfather is black and obese, his 70th birthday is tomorrow and his dad died of prostate cancer

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 had paranoia.

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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What do you call four black people in a car? A family road trip.

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A women left the kitchen.

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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A black guy and a white guy both interview for a job. The black guy gets the job because he is college educated and highly qualified.

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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