what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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I? Everett

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

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Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

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Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

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Why did the blonde make pasta even though she had a gluten allergy? She had some Italian friends coming over. Also she bought some gluten-free pasta and sauce so she wouldn't need to be hospitalized.

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If I was a backstabber, you would have been dead already, without me having anything to do with it in the first place, listen, we cannot change the world, those that control the media, control the world. And our role was the opposite, we wanted people to find their individual selves and put their talents for use for themselves and us, today the media tells people who they are, what they like, and what to eat and wear. None of us can do this, point zero is gone, its simply a matter of time, but if you want to try, I can do what I can, in hopes of delaying the inevitable.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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