Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Killing your friend as a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +20

haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops