How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

So a baby seal walks into a club.

A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

Women's Rights

why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

the cow goes moo

Two men are talking at a bar. They both order the same drink but are charged different prices. Angered, one of them men confronts the bartender. A fight breaks out and the bartender is seriously injured.

a man is found hanging from the ceiling of a barn and there is no chairs or anything to stand on around. his girlfriend goes in to deep depression and kills herself the next week.

There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

I'm ginger no more needs to be said...

One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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