Michael J. Fox asked me if I wanted my drink shaken or stirred, did I really have a choice?

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Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

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Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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Whats the difference between and anti joke and a joke? There two different things.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

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Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

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What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

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Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

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What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

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The pig walks up to the buture the' The buture sloters him!

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Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

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Why are black people more athletic than whites? Black people originate from Africa, where they lived in a world where athletic ability created natural selection. The most athletic were able to escape dangers of the jungle such as dangerous animals, and were also most apt to find food to survive. Then when the slave trade occured, only the strongest and best fit survived the trip to America and the hard labor. Also, given the socio-economic trends of the United States, African Americans are more likely to grow up in an environment where they have limited opportunity to make a living, besides professional sports, so they play cheap sports like basketball.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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