What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

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What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

what is worse than a pile of dead babies? the one on the bottom trying to eat its way out of a pile of babies that have been poisoned.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

Q. Why did the friend say to the other friend "Your soo gay!" A. Because he was gay..

Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

How are you this morning?

The sons of modern psychology: COCAINE MOTHERF8CKERS! COMING OUT IN YOUR CINEMA RENTAL STORE YESTERDAY! Sold out. (yesterday)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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