Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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if a bra is called a over the shoulder boulder holder what is male underware called sincerly, under the butt nut hut

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A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

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a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

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Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

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The sons of modern psychology: COCAINE MOTHERF8CKERS! COMING OUT IN YOUR CINEMA RENTAL STORE YESTERDAY! Sold out. (yesterday)

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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Why was the little Jewish girl sad? Because neo-Nazis killed her family.

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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So a gay guy walks in a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind, get out." The gay says he will drink in the corner. Later, a construction worker walks into the bar. He says," Man, I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat off a cows balls." The gay guy in the corners says," Mooooooooo."

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When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

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What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

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Q. Why did the friend say to the other friend "Your soo gay!" A. Because he was gay..

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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