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Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

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What do you call two black guys flying a plane? Pilots.

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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what is worse than a pile of dead babies? the one on the bottom trying to eat its way out of a pile of babies that have been poisoned.

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once upon a time jeff peterson was taking a daily walk when he stops and stares at a strange object. it was an assasin with a knife who slaughtered jeff decapitating his head while his family cry's. THE END

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the fourth panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. -BG_Shank_A

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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