What is it called when a black man does cocaine? A felony.

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

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68

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What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

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How are you this morning?

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

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Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

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What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

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Q. Why did the friend say to the other friend "Your soo gay!" A. Because he was gay..

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the fourth panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. -BG_Shank_A

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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