rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

thumb_up thumb_down +97

Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There once was a man from Nantucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why did the rabit lose the race? it was a dumb@$$

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why did the black man work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because he was fired from his job at a grocery store, and it was the only job he could find on short notice in the current job market.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

thumb_up thumb_down +66

How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A Mexican, a Jew and an African walk into a bar. Now, it seem it was the Jew's turn to pay for drinks. So, all three ordered drinks, and the Jew paid for them.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops