How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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Apple.

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1,984

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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Why did Cody sit in the corner? Because his daddy didn't love him. #DaddyDoesn'tLoveYouAnymoreChair

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they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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20

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call of duty world at war

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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