A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A bus full of retarded kids got broken on his way. One kid suggested to the bus driver that the problem could be with the brakes, as that kid's father was a mechanic.

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Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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Knock knock Whos there Your Ma Your Ma who Your ma's in jail!!!

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Doctor Harold Boo, I was your grandmother's primary caregiver, I'm here to inform you that she died of a massive heart attack.

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Why? Why not?

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

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What do you call a bad joke website? anti joke

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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Obama Getting Re-Elected.

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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