Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken?

Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

9/11 my birthday

So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

How do you get a mexican to do the yard work faster? Offer him a 5% bonus.

What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By pulling human entrails out of her purse when he asks her to provide insurance.

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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