I'm tired.

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:D STORY TIME! :D ... :D So once upon a time there was a... :) Uhm... :\ I forgot... Sorry :(

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And this poem sucks

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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Q. whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I dont jump on my trampoline with metal cleats.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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