Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

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A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No Oh... well he hasn't either

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What's taters, precious? The potato is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial Solanum tuberosum of the Solanaceae family.

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

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u know whats a crime? rape

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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an islamic man with a strange bag walk into thr airport. he is probably heading toward his flight like any other person.

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What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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