look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? a horse

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A Jew walked into Germany. He never walked back out.

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

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-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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What do you call a Mad Cow? Dead. Pst, Mr.Cobb if your reading this- Hola.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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Yo mama so stupid, she should be worried about Alzheimer's disease.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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