Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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How do you get an annoying baby to shut up? Hit it with a bat

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Whats funnier than a black guy dieing? Everything thats not funny

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How do you identify a Chinese tank? They smash their own people.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your grandpa's dead So are you.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

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If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? No it's Cindy Lou Who!

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Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

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Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

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What's taters, precious? The potato is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial Solanum tuberosum of the Solanaceae family.

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How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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