What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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Why was the little boy late to school Cause he walked on a landmine

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

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why was the female student failing out of school? because she made bad choices and never gave school her all.

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Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops