How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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What dithe blackman say to the white man ???? Nothin! They both committed suicide.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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"You can't get past" "I'll get future" dad cri mom cri boy bang girl girl cri women's rites sholdnt exist.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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How many blondes does it take to play a game of hide and seek? One ... ;)

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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roses are red and violets are blue so is your mums fanny

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Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

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i had a dream last night;) it was sad because you lived but then i dreamed up a bus and made it hit you. i had a dream last night;) you died

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

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Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

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So, two black guys walk into a bar... And they pay their tab and couldn't have been more courteous

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what's gray, rectangular, and provides a good time? your mother's sex tape.

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Whats 9 plus 10 ... WHO FREAKIN CARES! STUPID.

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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops