- Anti Joke

"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

What's brown and hides in the closet? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank.

Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

How do you confuse a bus driver? Go invisible and throw bananas at him

A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring