I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

a man was shot.... he died

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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