Asians...

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How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Six hasn't been the same since Vientnamn

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch names

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas. Nothing. He was Jewish.

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Why did the chicken refuse to cross the road? Yo dawg, dat chicken saw dat hoe Sally crossin da road, dat biatch got hit wit a fridge. Dat chicken was like "hell naw, yall must be trippin, i aint finna die over dat shiet homie, peace!"

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?!" ...Two days later, both of the cannibals became very ill with food poisoning. Always ensure meat is cooked thoroughly before eating.

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If you analyze this joke closely you' ll realize its not funny.

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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YOUIR MAMA IS SO UGLY THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO PLASTIC SURGERY TO BETTER HER APPEARENCE

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What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because his older brother was forcing him to pee on an electrical socket.

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Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

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You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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do you wanna hear a joke cutsforbieber#

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: Your mother sucks.

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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A man walks into a bar Ouch He broke his penis So he ate it Then he saw a little boy They shaved their pubic hair together He raped the little boy He walked into another bar Double ouch

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What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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