Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

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Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

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How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

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what is worse then breaking on arm breaking two arms what is worse then breaking two arms the holocaust what is then the holocaust Obama care.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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who drinks pee? katness

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Why women like NBA players so much? Because they have money.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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Haikus are rigid, Their structure gives them beauty, And if you ignore the structure they kind of don't make sense and are bad.

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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British Dentistry

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

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what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

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Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

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Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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