a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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A guy walks into a pub. He cant walk out because hes blind.

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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whats bright and yellow? the sun.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Good guess!

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What did the muffin say to the other? This isn't logical

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Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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A man walks into a bar. What's missing? The joke.

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Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

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Why didn't the blond resolved the Cold War? Once the blond's socio-economic background was really poor, she didn't have enough education to solve such geopolitical conflict, envolving imperialism, international influence, militar power and scientifical power, still without armed conflicts, as the respective leaders of both United States of America and United Soviet Socialist Republics knew a armed conflict would cost too much lifes, and even in a totally utilitarian society, the benefits of the war to both countries wouldn't be enough to justify the death of thousands. Therefore, its concluded that a meedle class person wouldn't be enough capable to be the charged to solve this kind of tenssion between States, and it would be really silly if someone happened to encharge the blond in issue.

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A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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