Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

LIE

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo Mumma so dumb she has to climb over a glass wall to see whats on the other side.... Yo Mumma's so fat when she walked past the tv she made me miss 5 series... Yo Mumma's so fat when god said let there be light she had to move out of the road. That's nearly all that I have, but if u have one leave it in the comment

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Why the long face?" The bartender backhands the man making him fall off of his stool.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Quess what the trash man did today? He took my trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

pizzano is a tool.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

alex h is such a ginger, that her hair downstairs is red.

thumb_up thumb_down -119

What's red, yellow, and full of diabetes? Mcdonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +148

Part 1 - Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Part 2 - Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down +122

On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

thumb_up thumb_down +98

A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's funny about an anti-joke? It's a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a man with no legs? Disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a sexually abusive man. Dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops