Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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N

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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What's red and on fire? My crotch

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How full could a skeleton's stomach possibly be? Replete with perceptible emptiness.

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Whats 9+10? Well it's certainly not 21

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What is white and when it falls, your fridge is broken? Your fridge.

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What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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A guy walks into a pub. He cant walk out because hes blind.

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What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

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ok so what is big yellow and can not swim well dont look for the answer deuce bag

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Good guess!

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A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

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What did the muffin say to the other? This isn't logical

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Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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82

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whats bright and yellow? the sun.

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Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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