LIE

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What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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A plane is flying low over New York City. It's low on fuel and needs to land.

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Whats 9+10? Well it's certainly not 21

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Good guess!

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Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Yo Mumma so dumb she has to climb over a glass wall to see whats on the other side.... Yo Mumma's so fat when she walked past the tv she made me miss 5 series... Yo Mumma's so fat when god said let there be light she had to move out of the road. That's nearly all that I have, but if u have one leave it in the comment

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What's red and on fire? My crotch

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Why the long face?" The bartender backhands the man making him fall off of his stool.

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A man walks into a bar. What's missing? The joke.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

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A guy walks into a pub. He cant walk out because hes blind.

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Why didn't the blond resolved the Cold War? Once the blond's socio-economic background was really poor, she didn't have enough education to solve such geopolitical conflict, envolving imperialism, international influence, militar power and scientifical power, still without armed conflicts, as the respective leaders of both United States of America and United Soviet Socialist Republics knew a armed conflict would cost too much lifes, and even in a totally utilitarian society, the benefits of the war to both countries wouldn't be enough to justify the death of thousands. Therefore, its concluded that a meedle class person wouldn't be enough capable to be the charged to solve this kind of tenssion between States, and it would be really silly if someone happened to encharge the blond in issue.

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

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Two gay guys hosted a barbecue. The music and food was great. Everyone had a good time.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A disgusting halfbreed which prays daily for its own euthenasia...

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how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

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ethan skov ex gf looked like a bull mastifs ring piece

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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