How did bob survive the explosion? He wasn't at the explosion.

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What's an Animal? A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming. ... are you retarded? yes how did you know?

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how black is a black man? pretty black.

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

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Good for him. Thats wonderful!

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What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

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What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

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How many aborigines does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They have no idea what electricity is.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar. they all wish me happy birthday bearing gifts. except there's no rabbi. or priest. or shaman. I'm not in a bar. I'm in my room. alone. i spent most of my birthdays that way.

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what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

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LIE

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

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Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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Why did The chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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So a Nazi walks into a bar full of jews, he ordered a drink and mumbled slures to himself.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

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What do you call an German with a knife in his leg ? An ambulance as he has a serious leg wound and will soon die of blood loss

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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