Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

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What did the man do after he found out his wife died in the Titanic? He cried.

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

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How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

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Why does the little boy play video games all the time? Because he is socially awkward and has no friends.

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What is it called when a male and a male are together. A relationship

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Excuse me sir, you wouldn't happen to have the time, would you?

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How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

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ok so what is big yellow and can not swim well dont look for the answer deuce bag

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A Weight loss service that works

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alert("The Game");

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Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

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A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender "one beer please." the bartender proceeds to go into shock as a duck just talked to him

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How did the gymnast fall off the beam? Got shot in the face

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Passing by

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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what's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? the holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? three bee stings.

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What did the girl say to her tits? I wanna suck u.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops