Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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what do you call aca that got pushed in a pool ? A WET PUSSY

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Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

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How do you make your grandma fly? Push her off the back of a plane.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack, due to her poor eating habits.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This is a Poem, your Adopted

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

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What do you call a black man called Jermaine? Jermaine!

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A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

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Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey – his purse is what restrains him

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Hi. He said it in sign language.

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hashtags suck balls

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple except for the elephant.

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Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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its all shi.ts and giggles.... ......until someone giggles and s.hits

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Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

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-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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