Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down

Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

thumb_up thumb_down

I know what you do with your right hand. You part-take in everyday activities such as eating, typing, grooming and maneuvering.

thumb_up thumb_down

A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down

Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

thumb_up thumb_down

hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

thumb_up thumb_down

i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

thumb_up thumb_down

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

Little Susie fell of the swings. Where did she go? On the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down

woman's rights

thumb_up thumb_down

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

thumb_up thumb_down

What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down

A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

thumb_up thumb_down

A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

thumb_up thumb_down

I was on Facebook today. Opened someones wall. Read "LIKE if you know someone that needs to be smacked in the face with a shovel." So I liked it and wrote my exboyfriend's name.......

thumb_up thumb_down

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

thumb_up thumb_down

HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

thumb_up thumb_down

Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops