A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

How do you catch a Jew? Just give him a little shower ;)

Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

What's white and horny? A unicorn

Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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