Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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pull my finger (farts)

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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i like it in the mouth

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what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

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Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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