Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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Brain fart

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops