Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

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Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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Wow! I've seen this joke before!

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

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If I became the president of the U.S.A I would change our national animal from eagle to smeagle. Like this if you agree. By Adam Chebali

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How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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