what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing, chimneys can't talk!

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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