How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

I'm tired of hearing Holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed.

Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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