whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

Anti-jokes are funny.

A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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