Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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Get up Look in the mirror

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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A: Knock knock B:The door is open.

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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Lololol

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Your're racist.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

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knock knock who's there your moms dead im sorry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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