what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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human centipede

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What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

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What's grey and can't swim? A castle.

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y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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whats the diffrences between black people and a tire nothin

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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