Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

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Why did Gavin kill Harley. Because his voices told him to.

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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Why did the girl eat a sandwich? because she was thirsty

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An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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if you press the thumbs up button nyan cat is going to visit you tonight

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

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lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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