what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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69

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obamas trench

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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