Your mother is average.

What is red, blue, and green all over? A piece of paper with three colors on it.

whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Bat-mobile? - "Robin, get in the Bat-mobile"

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

Dan O'Driscoll

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

How are you? Yes

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

Knock, Knock Who's There A dyslexic kid with aides

what did the boy with no arms get for christmas? A pair of robtic arms and now he has super stregth so he fuk up any body who said he would get cancer.

Why don't men want to marry virgins? They are wary of women who are inexperienced and who they may be sexually incompatible with.

The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

I walked down a dark alley at night and ran into 2 black men. They said hello and were on their way

What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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