How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

thumb_up thumb_down +17

My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A woman's opinion

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What's sad about seeing a dead twenty year old lying at the corner of a street with a beer bottle in his hand? A: He owed me twenty bucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Hello penis

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down -63

What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops