A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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what is light brown and looks like sand? sand

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

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7>6

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After waking up at the break of dawn, a man saw his dogs food dish was empty. In slight excitement for his dog to finally eat after his dish being empty all night, he called his dog in from outside, expecting him to go straight to his food dish like always. The dog walked by without noticing.

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A black man enters a bar. The bartender approaches him, and asks "who will it be?" The black man pulls out a gun and robs the bar, he is then arrested ten days later.

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69

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What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What did the latino say when he was struck over the head with a shovel? "ouch"

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a pair of shoes and gloves

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q: whys this website gay a: kids like jaali,pawgee, and mutt

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding it in your nose.

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what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

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roses are red, voilets are creepy, i can beat you in call of duty

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Q:What did the goat die? A: I dont know everything dies

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Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

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Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

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Why did the little girl cry when the x-ray showed her mom had a tumor? It was benign.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Q: What was so funny about the death of Michael Jackson? A: There wasn't anything funny. He was one of the best pop stars ever and many people loved him.

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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