Excuse me sir, you wouldn't happen to have the time, would you?

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Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why did the Chinese man cross the road? To get to the Chinese restaurant.

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How did bob survive the explosion? He wasn't at the explosion.

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What do you call an German with a knife in his leg ? An ambulance as he has a serious leg wound and will soon die of blood loss

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a scotch on the rocks. Realizing how strange this occurrence was, the bartender immediately calls the local news station and tells them there is a talking horse in his place of business and it would be in their best interest to come do a story on it, because the likelihood of them finding another story of this magnitude is quite slim.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were stuck on a desert island, because they were touring investment property islands off the coast of Dubai and their boat had engine trouble. They were eventually picked up in a helicopter.

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How do you make a clown sad? Throw a brick at him.

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Passing by

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Okay, then I am taking the last comment back then.

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

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KSI

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Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? - I dont know man, but you're adopted.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

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why is thus joke stupid? because it is! deal with it!

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

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why did the stupid boy put his clothes on his valentines? because hes stupid

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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What did the girl say to her tits? I wanna suck u.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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