A man goes to a Korean-owned dry cleaner to pick up his suits. They were impeccably cleaned at a reasonable rate.

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Hey girl, the word of the day is "legs". So let's go home and research the origin of the term and possibly conduct other etymological studies.

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What do you call a black piano player? You call him a pianist who plays a black piano. However, that really doesn't seem all that short, so you may just want to call him by his name, whether it be Bob, Jeff, or Ronaldo.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What's really ugly and smells like a hampster? My hampster.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar, which happens to be holding a support group for dyslexic people tonight. The name of the bar and all patrons are palindromes to avoid confusion.

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

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"Nice pair of crocs" said nobody

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Q: What did one raccoon say to the other? A: We do not know, as raccoons do not speak any human language. And no human being can understand or communicate with one.

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how do you have a great time in a college town you don't

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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what does a black car sound like when it starts? RUN-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA -GRANT PARK ALL THE WAY

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Whats worse than finding a worm guts in your apple? Being raped by a alien with no arms then passed on to his comrades to be raped for the rest of your life.

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Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

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Q: How many apples grow on a tree? A: All of them

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A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

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a guy walks into a bar and finds an empty chair near the jukebox. He orders a drink and some peanuts and has a really good time listening to the music and drinking his beer.

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A priest, a rabbi and an imam walked into a bar and had a great time because all of them worship the same God. (Obs: The imam ordered only soft drinks)

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a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar. they all wish me happy birthday bearing gifts. except there's no rabbi. or priest. or shaman. I'm not in a bar. I'm in my room. alone. i spent most of my birthdays that way.

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Why did the black man buy a gun?? He enjoys hunting legally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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