Why did the all the fish in the lake die? A pesticide bioaccumulated through the food chain.

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Why did the man explode when he ate the cheeseburger? Because the man was actually a bomb.

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There was was 14 apples in a tree. And that's it.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and realising it has a worm in it? subsequently realising that the worm is a Swamp Adder, the worlds smallest venemous snake. Then you look up and realise you're in the Sahara Desert. You wonder where the snake came from and how it got in the apple.. Then you slowly die.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

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what did the therapist say to the other therapist? were both therapists.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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A rabbit enters in apharmacy and asks for a carrot. The man says:"There aren´t any carrots in here." In the next two days the same happens, but the man replies that he'll hammer the rabbit if he comes back. In the other day, the rabbit is found dead with a bloody hammer nearby.

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What do you do if Zombies are chasing you and your friend? Trip the friend.

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A boy eats 3 pounds of candy, 2 whole pizzas, and drinks 10 beers. Why did he puke? Someone came out of nowhere, and kicked him in the nuts

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ok i'm typing, so how does this work?

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? Literally an endless list of things.

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What do you call a black person pushing a car? A very strong human being.

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September 8, 2011 Amy Winehouse: 46 days sober. Date of death: July 23, 2011

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4/20.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just the 1, Blondes aren't any dumber than anyone else. It's a myth.

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What's worse than losing your phone? Getting raped anal until phones fall out

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There's a blonde, Brunette and a Redhead stuck at the top of a cliff. A genie appears and says he will grant them each one wish. The Brunette wishes she could at the bottom of the cliff, The redhead wishes she could be back with her children and the blonde would just love to be back to her family. :/

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how do you know a chinese person has been in your house? #1 your homework is done #2 your computer is upgraded #3 when you get home there still pulling out of your driveway

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y momma so fat that she's heavy

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What did the toaster say to the bread? Nothing. Toasters can't talk.

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Why did Hitler like his steak well done? Because like many people, he didn't like the sight of blood in his steaks.

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A man walked into a store and asked if he could use the restroom. They found this acceptable and let him use it.

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Your momma is so fat that she is on a diet and exercises regularly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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