Q: What has one eye but cannot see? A: A blind cyclops

What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

Q: What do you call a white sheet on the floor? A: A ghost costume, dirty laundry, or carpet are all perfectly adequate answers.

What did the priest say to the young African American male? Good to see you again Robert. That community service we did at Morris Park last Friday should give a real boost to the infrastructure of the already stellar community we live in.

I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: A serial killer B: I don't feel comfortable opening the door

Why did the Mexican cross the street? He didn't

What do you call a plane full of Arab guys? Something not so good.

An Irishman walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they get married and live happy together for the rest of their lives.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

How many arabs can fit in a 2007 honda accord? legally up to 5

Who is pack bombs and has gum cancer? • Theo Kingdom

A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

Whats big white and can't climb trees? A Fridge. Whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick.

A man walks into a bar. He meets this attractive female. They later go to his house to have sexual intercourse. However, the man forgot to use a condom. He finds out he got AIDS. He dies twenty years later from his sexually transmitted disease.

Whats worse that stubbing your toe? Death.

:(Sneeze) :Bless You :Thank You! :Mention it :Thank You!

why did ben perve on the 5 year old girl he is a pedofile

whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? i don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

what did the homeless man get for christmas? nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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