Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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why was the little boy screaming. he realized he was an asian

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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Why did Moses cross the road? He wanted to play Xbox with his friend Jeff. Moses was a 12 year old boy from California.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple whilst you're in a bar after finding out you have cancer when you visited your families grave? Having a refrigerator thrown at you by an aids infected monkey with no arms or legs.

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Why do black guys have big dicks? God felt bad putting pubes on their head

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To be, or not to be. That is not the question. The question is, what time is it?

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Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

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I'm homeless.

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what did the white car look like... a black car but the color is different

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

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why did sally fall off the swings she had no arms knock knock whos there not sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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