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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

A BABY seal walks into a club

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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