How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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Q:Why did Billy drop his ice cream? A:He was hit by a truck. Q:Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was hit by Billy. Q:Why did the clown's friend fall off the swing? A:He had no arms. Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? A:To get to Billy's ice cream.

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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1,984

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why did the rabit lose the race? it was a dumb@$$

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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