If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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Hey connor and brett its ben, you are both at my house

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? Because Johnny's a goldfish.

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I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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What is big, white, and hurts when it falls from the sky? A FRIDGE

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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roses are red violets are blue .no one cares about you, your a jew.

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Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? Because he wants to hide the fact he knocked up a chicken.

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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Women's Rights..

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Suzie has no arms. Knock Knock (whos there?) Not Suzie.

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Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

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why did jim die? he had cancer why did jim have no hair? it started to fall out when he was 20 and now he is bald at 30 years old

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I couldn't decide whether to buy a pepperoni or a meat feast pizza? So i got neither and my two year old son died of starvation.

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Where does a hobo live? A box.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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what happened to the kid who didn't get what he wanted for his birthday? He committed suicide

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An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

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Dakota Fanning

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whats worse that being raped by a giant squirrel? being raped by two giant squirrels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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