Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

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What's the connection between Obama and Michael Jackson? They both want to be a girl.

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 years old to be in a bar

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How many Jews can you fit inside a car? Legally somewhere between 2 and 9 depending on seat belt availability and passenger space.

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Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

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Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why shouldn't you drink and drive? Because you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

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When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

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Q: Why don't blind people skydive? A:Because it is scary

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Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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404 Error: Joke not found

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation. John was never the same.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "James" "James who?" "What the heck?You forgot me already?Its your bestfriend dude.Now let me in." ~Lil

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Knock, Knock... Who's there? Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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Q: Why did the girl fall of her swing? A: She was hit by a rogue fridge. Q: Why didn't she get back up? A: She was quite badly injured.

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a doctor came into the room after receiving a woman's test results for lung cancer. the woman says, "is it negative or positive doctor?" the doctor looks at the woman and says, "it's negative, congratulations."

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Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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