My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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Whats more crazy? Stabbing someone or killing someone? I don't know thats why I am asking you

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A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

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Why did little tomas cry? Because he got raped by his uncle

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? During office hours 2 or 3 times a year to ensure optimal dental health and hygiene .

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What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

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how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

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your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future

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Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

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What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

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your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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Roses are red,violets are blue you want me but i dont want you!

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What do you call a dick with blonde hair? Joffrey Baratheon.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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Why did the cat land on it's back.... because its dead .......

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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