What is a quicker way to transfer money than electronic banking? Keeping it on one's person and getting mugged for it, or else handing it over in a mutual deal.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A blonde woman with her son are in walmart , as they approach the food and beverage section , they see a mexican man looking at the eggs. The man asks for help from the blonde woman about egg quality. She says ABD Eggs are the best so the mexican guy chooses that. Upon leaving the little boy points to the mexicans guys hat and shouts "ALIENS !" the mother gets really embarassed and shouts at her son for his behaviour and says it is not right. The mum gets relieved that she say that the mexican guy could not hear since he was listening to music. Upon the way out the mum spots a purplish liquid dripping out of the mexican guys hair. She asks him and he replies "Its the hair gel". The blonde and son nods and continues on their lives. - AK

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A guy comes home from work every day to his wife, who always seems miserable. He decides that her unhappiness is making him unhappy aswell, so he sits her down to talk things over. It turns out she is depressed because she can't get a job and the back wheels of her wheelchair are rusting.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a spaceship? a dinosaur spaceship

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is my penis rainbow colored?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What starts with P and ends in O-R-N? Popcorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

nothing drews nose is f**ing hilarious

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

religion

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did the black man get put in jail? He didn't, he never did anything illegal

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: why couldn't the pirate boy get into the movie? A: the movie was rated R and the pirate boy was only 14 years old, and he didn't have any adult supervision, which prevented him from entering the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you spell "black" when you writing an african american history essay. B L A C K

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops