What do u call a beaner when he stands up 4 foot nothing

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press a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l feel like a pianist

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Both my milk chocolate and my white chocolate are brown. Why? I crapped on my white chocolate.

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You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What's black on bottom and white on top?? Society

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear made her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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There's 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and muscular guy. 7 days later, the fat guy receives an invitation to the zoo. It turns he got a new job and his friends was so proud.

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Fine then, its me Tifa, I am sorry for going against your ideology, I was trying to emulate and copy you, but yeah... Bad thing is that yeah I taught these concepts to a real shitload of people Nero, on the bright side, its not much compared to what you know. Sorry for being all rude, but thirty something? I mean I never seen your face nor even the color of your skin Mr Doctor Doom, but you always struck me as very, very old. I kinda appreciate you calling me the girl with the big red scared eyes, most people call me you know, most people never look me in the eyes, not that I really blame them.

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A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

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What iz stupid? Hibiyav

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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