What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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hi will

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What did the framer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: He got hit by an axe.

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Why did the penguin die? due to an increase in the quantity of greenhouse gases that are being released into the atmosphere, global warming is on the rise. So the penguin died because his home melted.

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How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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A politician from the National Country Party keeps interjecting - "I'm a country member, i'm a country member' "yes we remember" says Gough whitlam

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name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

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What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

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How do you get 2000 people to go to heaven? Blow up a school.

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being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at the creepy man across the block.

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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Gentlemen, when she says no, she always means yes. Unless, of course, your rhetoric is of a sexual nature.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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