Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

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How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

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A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

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what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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two muffins were in an oven, one muffin said to the other, " ohmygod! its so hot in here!" the other muffin said,"AHHHHHH!!!! its a talking muffin!!"

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Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

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How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

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Why did the boy stop working on a farm? His country became more economically developed.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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What's worse than a rainy day? Rape.

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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