If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Why didn't the monkey fall out of the tree when someone threw a refrigerator at it? Because it was already lying on the floor dying of AIDS.

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Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

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what do you call an astrounaut in space? an astrounaut you racist bastard

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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A: my name is Joe and i like onion B: ok

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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What is worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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What is the difference between a baby and a rat? I don't have a rat in a cage

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Bin Laden: dang, these pizza guys are so late, this pizza better be free! door: Ring ring ring.. Bin Laden: yes its finally here!

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings? whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 bee stings? No! The holicost Whats worse than the holicost? What? 3 Bee stings

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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