I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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A moose walks into a grocery store. It goes up to the clerk and asks, "do you guys have any potatoes?" the clerk replies oh yeah they're in isle... Ooooh wait a second. You're a moose. The moose responds, "Yes, indeed I am." The clerk then says "Oh ok, isle seven."

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Whats worse than 911..? The plane ride there.

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

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Q: Why did little Johnny not like little Suzie? A: He was a homosexual.

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Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped What's worse than being Raped. Being Raped 2 times by a Giant Scorpion.

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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Adam Turkolowoskiaklfadjufsdjksbgsgsafafdsg

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Ouch.

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Q.What did the anti-joke reader say to the doctor? A-My finger is stuck on the dislike button.

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- have you heard about the guy who got the left side off the body cut off? - no. - He died

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Q: What's funny about a gay man being raped by men for being gay? A: The man's personality

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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what do you call a needle with two heads? a two headed needle

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Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

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If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops