kid: can i go to the bathroom? teacher: you have to say the alphabet first. kid: ugh. fine. a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.x.y.z teacher: what happened to the p? the kid bows his head in shame sits back down as the entire class laughs at him.

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An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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Q. If your rowing a canoe up a tree, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A. None because snakes don't have armpits.

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Your mother is so rotund, in fact she went to a weight loss clinic... but gained weight

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

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long in the tooth!

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Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

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What body part do you shave other than your balls? My fridge.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

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Dakota Fanning

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas?? -nothing, he didn't make it that far

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How can you tell two twin sisters apart? Look at one twin, then look at the other, and acknowledge that they are two different people.

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What's worse than speaking to a Russian bear? Gettting mauled and eaten by one.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

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Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

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Nope, I mean you can try, but my phone is busted and the code on the chip my galpal here managed to finally get into the cell, has sixteen digits so damn small that none of us can read it,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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