Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did you hear the one about the bus driver? Me neither

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is red, blue, and green all over? A piece of paper with three colors on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a dog walk into a landmine, he exploded.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Yo mama is... a very nice person, and her cooking is exquisite.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Guess what? What? You guessed correctly.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: Where did little Suzie go during the bombing? A:Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down

Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you get your girlfriend's yapping Chihuahua to be quiet? Throw it through a window.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank? A: Ask politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did the old man keep the kids off his lawn? By molesting their Moms.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a brick at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

FUCK THE CHRISTIANS

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops