What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

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Yo mama is so fat!

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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Why did the chicken die? Because it was crossing a busy road.

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Knock. Knock. No one is home. Okay.

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Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

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what starts with 's' and ends in 'ex' and muslims get a stiffy from it semtex.

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Q:Wats worse then cutting ur lawn A: diarea on a sunday morning

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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What did the bird say on twitter? Tweet tweet.

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You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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Why did the beautiful woman marry the ugly poor old man? She was blonde & was therefor not aware that he wasn't rich nor younge.

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Once a upon a time there were three kittens that die, the end :D

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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8 muslims walk into a bar You know why. Because their suicidal bombing plans were put off until Tuesday

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Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops