Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

There was once a boy named Swan, But then they built Autobahn.

why is rebecca black? because it's friday.

What did the fly say to the frog? Nothing, insects can't talk.

my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

how did they guy with no legs in the wheel chair walk? he couldnt because he had no legs.

A girl cries as she drops a box of uncooked spaghetti noodles, spilling and breaking them onto the floor. She has brittle bone disease.

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

Brett Favre sent me a pic of his penis. I then compared it to my own and felt good about my general ackage size

A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas ? cancer

What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

Invisible Television.

K

What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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