Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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There once was a man from nantucket. But he moved to California after he won the State lottery.

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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You killed my brother and call me the antichrist? Its lovable: Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the **** are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming? He died for their sins, not for yours... WELCOME TO HELL!

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Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

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a korean guy robs a black guys convenient store!

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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How did the boy fly? he had wings.

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Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

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your period is red your waffle is blue find a way to fix it or no sex for you!

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An Irish priest molested many children. He's still free today

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Why did the astronaut die in space? Just kidding there was no astronaut. It was a cucumber

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antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

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knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

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A Jew,Spiderman and The Incredible Hulk all jump off the top of the Empire State Building,who hits the ground first? The Jew because the other two dont exist

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What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

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What Do You Call A Swimming Banana.. Nothing Bananas Are Inanimate Objects Therefore It Would Be Impossible For It Swim

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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