what is the vent wound on the ladies that can never heal???

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

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What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

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A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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An alphabet walks into the post office and asks for a letter. What does the postal worker give the alphabet? Nothing. Alphabets can't walk.

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why did the man jump off the building? to commit suicide.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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How do you kill a mocking bird? You throw an axe at it.

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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So a mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato were all walking down the street. The baby tomato was falling behind its parents. So the daddy tomato goes back, squishes the baby tomato and yells ketchup!

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Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue So is your face Cuz I just gagged you

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Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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What was the pirate movie rated? Pg-13

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What's black, white, and red all over? The flag of the Arapaho Nation.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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Your mom is so fat that she is at risk for type two diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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