A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is my name? I dont know

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the clown say to the other clown? I was not present at this conversation, and therefore I was not able to catch what they were saying

thumb_up thumb_down +20

12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

thumb_up thumb_down -42

You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why don't people like this joke? It makes no sense.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

JESUS SAYS PICTURE HERE ..... Throws a party for 12 people the world still talks about 2012 years latter !

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A guy walks into a bar. He was an alcoholic and it was destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What makes a good jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops