My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

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Q: What's the capital of Ohio A: O

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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Whats the similarity between a rabbit and a grape? There both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Burp

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jimmy Tyler, your son Hi son *continues to open door

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How do you kill a beetle? Wait outside his apartment and shoot him

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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what happens every day? People die

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What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him, "Would you like a drink?". The horse cannot understand english and is confused by its surroundings. The horse gallops out of the bar knocking over a few stools

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Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Well...not really no. It's not.

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why did the girl cry because she was raped

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Kid With ADD A Kid With AD- Oh Look! A Squirrel!

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Your mother is so old that she is dead.

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Why was Sally a bad driver? Because she rarely signals and never checked her blind spots.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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