q- what do you call a small number of black people running away from a large group of white people? a- every marathon known to man...

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what does the homeless man do when he gets home? nothing, he's homeless

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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Why are black people good at basketball? While there are many preternaturally gifted black men and women in professional basketball, the notion that one race holds sway over the others in terms of sheer skill and talent is a ridiculous stereotype; propagated, no doubt, by both ignorant and jealous persons of other colors.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

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i'm an inbred jew - Barras

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Knock Knock Who's There? Robin Robin Who? Robin Williams Whoa, too early bro

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Did you hear about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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Jumping out of an airplane is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing. He's been dead for over three years.

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Robin, get in the Bat-mobile!

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knock knock whose there open the door open the door who just open the door so i can come inside

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill jail brake

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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