what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

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What happens when a scientist tells you a lie? It's not true.

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Whats black and white, and red all over? A: Your grandma, naturally black haired, beaten to a pulp and left pale white with blood covering the majority of her body.

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What did the alcoholic say to his priest? I'm Drunk. The priest says "Your drunk go home". He barely makes it.

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Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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Why did the monKey fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

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What do you get when you put a goat and an owl together? A goat and an owl

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What's the difference between a cow and a Spanish person? To get to the other side

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Why did the african kid die He was mauled by a tiger in a zoo

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he has a serious anger problem.

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf guy ? He didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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