What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

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How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

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whats black and white and covered in blood Michael Jackson being stabbed

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Why'd the man walk his dog His pen ran out of ink

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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I brought a parachute as carry on luggage, I was pulled aside at security and missed my flight.

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

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If olive oil is made from olives and vegetable oil from vegetables, what is baby oil made of? Mineral Oil, Aloe Vera Extract, Vitamin E, Acetate, Fragrance.

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Its true, he didnt write that!!

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

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What's black and blue and red all over? I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

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What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

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Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

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A horse walks into a bar.. Several people get up and leave as they see the potential danger in the situation..

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

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A blind child sign is at the end of my street. I have never seen the child, but at least if he were to come outside at the right time period i might be able to spot him, whereas he would having no way of returning the gesture.

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Well, there's one way...

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A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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A Jew walks into a bar. It probably hurt

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What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

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Knock knock Who's there? Honey, just let me in. This bloody game can't go on for an hour. I'm cold out here.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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