Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Sorry, I need to take care of business up here, it is for the best that we do not communicate for a while, suspicions are going to be flaring up all over the place You better keep your head low, the place with the code-name "The Kings Throne" was under attack, but as you might know, its not what it used to be, you should all leave Point Zero in 3-4 hours when the dust has settled. Personally I suspect it is someone from the past, yes rivals, but according to the information nobody that knows who "The Nero" is, so as you can already tell, you and I are in equal danger until this is resolved. I promise to call you someday

thumb_up thumb_down -9

2 nuns in the bath, One says "wears the soap" the other says "Over there, next to the shampoo"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A seal walks into a club. The poacher continues to beat the seal to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you know if a girl is special? If she hates justin bieber, Twilight, and is open to threeways.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what's worse than the holocaust living jews

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a man walks into a bad part of town he is shot 13 times and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

if any1 wants contact with me, nina, call me on my cell at 879-555-0934 im looking for a short, chubby man with a hungering taste of mexican taste

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

knock knock come in

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops