A dog is always in the pushup position.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

thumb_up thumb_down +8

.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken Cross the road? Because a Blackman was chasing his dinner

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the skeleton cross the road ? because it wanted too. lolz

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than catching aids? - already having aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the man at the haberdashery say? Six and seven-eighths, bub, six and seven-eighths.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Who’s there? Who Who who? Who who who Who who who who? Who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who…

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did the little boy cry? please answer this question in the form of a 2 page essay and back up your answer from personal experiences, your readings or any other outside sources.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops