Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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why did the parakeet eat the cracker? because it wanted to.

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knock knock whos there rock rock who rocks dont knock stupid

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Why do black people like chicken? Because it's tasty, nutritious and easy to cook.

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A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

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Chuck Norris died.

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Why did the baby cry? His dad was holding him upside down over a fire.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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Why did the fat guy get a gun? Because he was tired of all the fat jokes...

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

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a show horse jumps over a bar

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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What did the gay man order at Starbucks? Delicious, handcrafted beverages and great-tasting food. The secret to making life better.

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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This is a funny anti-joke. But you probably don't get it.

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? a mega sore ass

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- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

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Small titties.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

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What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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