Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

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I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

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A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

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hi

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Two Muffins in an oven One muffin looks at the other muffin and says: "Oohhhh it's hot in here!". Then the other muffin says: "Oohhhh a talking muffin!"

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Q.What did the muffin say when the other muffin said, "How ya doin'?" A."HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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How do you make a basketball team short You cut off their legs

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The rabbit owns a small business and has trouble getting a loan.

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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whats the difference between a nigga and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Well, it depends on how many Jews there are and what kind of car it is.

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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Why was Bootylatrice tardy for school? -She overslept.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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