“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Who can you NOT apply the term "Gentle Giant" to? Dwarfs.

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Why couldn't the Irishman walk in a straight line? Because he was a retard.

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Knock Knock. Go away!

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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that wall over there ->

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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What day comes after Friday? Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's me, Jeremy. Oh, great to see you! Come inside. They then have a great time watching TV and eating snacks

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69

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Q: What did the passengers think of thier Chineese bus driver? A: They were very pleased with the bus driver's service, for he was a very safe driver and got them to their destination on time.

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how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

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Q: What's very loud, has 60 wheels, and is covered in snow? A: A massive car pile up in January that was caused by a women being distracted while Texting. 7 people were killed.

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How do you become a dragon ball super saiyan? You sit there and scream like you are giving birth for three minuets

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Your Mother

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What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your Holocaust? Oh, wait, I said it wrong...

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If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

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What is Ciaran Wilkie Gay

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What did Hitler say to the black jew? Get to the back of the oven

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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