Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door.

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Knock knock Whos there? D D who D's nuts!

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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Why couldn't little Jimmy see his mum in the crowd? Because he was blind.

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Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

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knock knock who's th...AIDS.....

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they!

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a penis.

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if it takes skill to trip over a flat surface, i have no skill...

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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roses are red violets are red everything's red i'm colour blind

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How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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why did the chicken cross the road??? I don't know, that's why I asked you -_-

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I threatened to throw a fridge at it

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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A man walks into a bar,gets a drink, and then leaves.

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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