Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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What olympic event is Kosovo best known for getting gold? Kosovo is the world's newest country and therefore does not yet have complete international recognition.

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What happens when you have nothing to do and you can't think of a joke? You just type whatever you want and hope to god someone likes it.

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Knock Knock the door's open, come in

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What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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how do you confuse a blonde? shes already confused Leave.Her.Alone.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesnt rhyme And your entire family died trying to fly to your house for Christmas. They crashed into a orpanage for death children. There were no survivors.

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Joker: You wanna know how I got these scars Me: The Bat... Joker: The Batman!

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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why did nick leave school? bECAUSE HE WAS RETARDED

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Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

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A piece of wood walks into a bonfire. Wood can't walk.

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go stand in a mirror look at your face that is the joke. 8- now go tell someone you will tell them a joke and do that to them this will be a fast spreading joke. jkjk this joke is so bad everybody give this alot of bad thums. ha ha i do not care

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Why didn't Anne Frank answer the door? Because it was the German SS.

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

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One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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Small Penis.

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So, there was two successful business men at a social gathering when one leans in to the other to comment, "Hey, that women over there, she looks like your wife!" to which the other one replies, "That is my wife."

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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