A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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How do the american stop getting fat ? They don't.

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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What do you call a woman who has huge breasts? Sarah, for instance.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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Two guys are on a bridge. One commits suicide, the other one is called John.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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Whats the worse than dieing of cancer, dieing alone and having AIDS

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Why did the boys shout ZACHATTACK? Because zach was attacking

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

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where did susan go durring the explotion? every where...

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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What do you call a group of black people? You don't You call the cops first.

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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