Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

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What do all of these jokes have in common? They're not funny. You see, the definition of an anti-joke is a "type of indirect humor that involves the joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The audience is expecting something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value." As this is a page full of anti-jokes, we know to expect the unfunny - thus robbing us of the experience of an anti-joke.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

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What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

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Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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what do you call a man in a hole Fill

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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Q.Want to hear somthing that will never happen A. Sure A. the Houston Astros won a game.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

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Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Bitches Like U Belong In The Zoo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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