If pro- is the opposite of con-, what is the opposite of progress? regress

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I walked down a dark alley at night and ran into 2 black men. They said hello and were on their way

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A fridge.

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How do you kill a Jew? Shoot him in the head.

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How many illegal immigrants does it take to change a lightbulb? Why should his legal status matter at all in this situation?

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You know what they say about guys with really big feet? They own big shoes.

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Why didn't the Asian student ask for a calculator? Because he was busy washing the dishes and thought a calculator would be completely inappropriate for the situation at hand.

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? Pizza doesn't scream when you put it into an oven.

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A black man went into the sea. What did he become? Wet

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Why can't Hellen Keller have babies? She's dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What happens when you breed a Siberian Tiger with a California Condor? Nothing. The tiger does eat the condor though and you are found out by a neighbor and charged with animal neglect, animal cruelty, and possession of two endangered species. You are fined $100,000 and go to jail for 5 years during which you are sodomized.

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What happens when you put two black people in a blender? That is physically impossible, you cannot fit two people in an ordinary blender.

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What do you call two black people on one bike? Organized Crime

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A man walks into a party, walks over to the snack stand, and is surprised to find that there is no punch line.

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doctor doctor i need help i stay up all night dancing what is it? dance fever! HAHAHAHA its fatal.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmers daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soybean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture removers van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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Why did the blonde shoot her dog? Because it had rabies

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Your dad is so fat that he is on a diet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped a KFC.

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Why is this site so stupid? It's no, its the best site ever

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What do you do when you see your wife outside the kitchen? Tell her to enjoy the rest of her day, and you look forward to spending time with her when you both get home from your jobs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops