What items don't float? A school bus full of children

Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

Yeah Aodhans been typing up everything strting argument along with taggart

what do you call a disabled black man getting beat up? an unfortunate human

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? It's a spicy sort of stew, you'd enjoy it.

matt shut up

What person looks most like Jim Carry? Jim Carry

whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

Why did the color blind man cut the red wire and accidentally blew himself up and all the other people involved in the situation? Because he didn't know how to defuse a bomb.

What did the rap singer say to the other rap singer? "You just got served. Here, read this subpoena and sign it, verifying your understanding of the document."

Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

Knock knock. Who's there?

what is hollow and bloody? Vagina when it gets genital herpes

Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

A man heard a thundering sound. It was thunder.

Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

what's worse than finding 8 babies in 1 trash can? nuclear warfare

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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