What did Chuck Norris say to the boy? Sure I'll sign your t-shirt!

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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what do you call a black pilot? a pilot

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What's the best anti joke? this one

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Yo momma's so nice that she baked cookies for us. Please tell her I said thanks.

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Roses are red Dead bodies are blue You can't see me But I see you

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A man walks into a bar. The other two ducked, and then immediately called an ambulance.

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yaa tsi tsup ari dik ari dull an dik ari dill an dits tan dool la dippyduppy dull la roop uttyroopy la goorigan gook aya gittygangool arup cha cha adippydappydill la baritztandill lan den lan doe a barik kata barip pari baribadeebadeebadee standen lan doe ya baril las ten lan day a doe la babadeadevadevadevaduv ya vou what is that little las day lan doe badakadagadaga doo doo day a doe

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Why was there a lion in the bathroom? Because I threw a refrigerator at it and stapled a frog to its butthole, all while it was being chased by a 10 foot scorpion and a purple salmon that only had 1 eye.

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What is worse than finding 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? Finding 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender.

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How do you make lady gaga angry? punch her in the face and throw her off a cliff

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? Because they are delicious, and very filling.

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What was the sadest part about the four blacks who drove off a cliff in a cadilac? -The car sat five

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I am Skaldak!

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Knock knock! "Who's there?" "It's me, xx" "Okay, come in."

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Yo mamma's so black, and that's ok. We're all different and unique.

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Q: what did the deaf boy get for christmas? A: an ipod shuffle

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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biggest lie in the world. I love you grandma.

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What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Crunchie

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Roses are red, I want a gravestone, nobody loves me, forever alone

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the WNBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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