Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

The song Friday Rules!

Guess what? You just lost the game.

Roses are red Violets are blue You touch yourself. I do, too.

Q: what do you call a black guy on the moon A: An astronaut you resist bastard

If an iPad 2 is better than an iPad 1, than what's better than an iPad 2? An iPad 3

What's the differrence between a park bench and a black person... A park bench can support a family

What begins with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Your neighbor

A women leaves the kitchen.

A dog goes into a bar. He is wearing an eye patch. The dog says to the bartender, "Have you heard the one about the one-eyed dog?" The bartender, who is deaf in one ear, thinks the dog is making fun of him. He asks him to leave. The dog says, "Don't you have a sense of humor, deafie?" At the end of his shift, the bartender is tired of all the jokes. Today it's a one-eyed dog. Yesterday it was a horse with rickets. The day before: ants. He lives above the bar, in a small room. He spends the night alone there, listing to his battery operated radio, which picks up only a bad jazz station. He listens to bad jazz with his bad ear.

What is black, white and hungry? A woman with a rare skin disorder known as Vitiligo which causes discolourtion of the skins pigment in patches; who is hungry.

your gay

What is the same about a bird and a turtle? They can both fly . . . except for the turtle

why is yo mamma fat? cause she likes doughnuts

A man walks in to a bar, the bartender asks "what will it be?" The man says i don't know, what will it be?"

Why are these jokes so funny? I don't know?

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

Why was sally crying? she was sad

Knock Knock Dude i am not going to answer the door

There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

Q: why is the squirrel stuck in the tree? A: because he should have finished high school.

A man in a restaurant says "Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter apologizes and offers to comp the meal.

how did the girl fall off the swing. BECAUSE SHE HAD NO ARMS HAHAHAH

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what can I get you?" The man replies "what do you recommend?" The bartender says "get a beer." The man says "okay."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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