Anti Joke

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat.
They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses.
Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away.

A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation.
It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way.

The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore.
He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body.
A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach.

The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean."
Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite.
His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom.

The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore.
Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine.
Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him.
The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"